Fifty Shades Before Baby
by Ruby Addican
Summary: Catching up with Ana and Christian just a few weeks before the birth of their first child. Previously Called Fify Shades Preparing For The Worst
1. Chapter 1

_**Friday, April 27, 2012**_

I knew it was a bad idea to keep my appointment today with Dr. Greene when Christian couldn't make it. He has dutifully attended each one at my side, has come prepared with questions and ensures the baby is growing on schedule and that I am growing on schedule. I really think he believes he can exert control over Little Blip _in utero._ But today, of all days, he could not attend. I think of the envelope in my bag and the contents it holds. This conversation would be so much easier with Dr. Greene in the same room.

Because I know he is worrying, I call his blackberry while waiting at the entrance of the clinic for Sawyer to arrive in the Audi SUV. Since I started showing in December Christian has not allowed me to drive and now Blip and I are only allowed to travel via Audi SUV. I do miss my R8, but I doubt I would be comfortable driving it, especially today. Christian quickly answers as if he's been expecting my call.

"Anastasia, how did everything go?"

"Everything is fine. Blip is perfect." Knowing he will want the usual checklist I continue.

"The heartbeat is 157. I gained 6 pounds since last month. My blood pressure is great. Urine test was unremarkable and I am not dilated yet, which Dr. Greene said is normal for a first pregnancy at 37 weeks." I rattle off as much as I can in one breath.

"Good to hear." He sighs is audible relief. "I am sorry I couldn't make it this time. I just couldn't miss this meeting and I didn't want you to miss your appointment. I am glad you called. I couldn't stop worrying about you both."

"I figured as much." I cannot help but roll my eyes. _Some things never change._

"I can always tell when you are rolling your eyes at me, Mrs. Grey." Christian warns playfully.

Again, I think of the envelope in my purse. I could bring it up now – maybe prepare him for the conversation? No. Mia and Kate will be over tonight to finalize the baby shower plans for next weekend. It will be worse to have him anxious and brooding for hours then it will be to surprise him.

"I am heading back to the office now to finish things up and pack up the work I want to bring home. Also, don't forget Mia and Kate will be over at 6 tonight so you are on your own for dinner, Mr. Grey."

"I will find a way to make due. And make sure Sawyer carries any files or boxes from your office that you are bringing home. I don't want you unnecessarily exerting yourself." Christian quickly returns to über bossy mode.

"Unnecessarily exert myself? I wonder how I can _necessarily_ exert myself." I hear Christian's sharp intake of breath and Sawyer chooses that moment to pull up at the curb then quickly gets out and scuttles over to where I am standing to open the door for me.

"I can think of a few ways." Christian finally responds impiously.

The last few months he has been very careful with me since my belly has swollen so much but my hormones have been going crazy and despite his best efforts, he has trouble saying no to me in my current state. It's been nice for a change. Admittedly, _both_ of us have had a lot of fun exploring pregnant kinky fuckery. I like knowing this is something he has never experienced with anyone else before and it's hot.

"I can't wait." I reply quietly and breathlessly. My inner goddess rubs her hands together like a mad scientist concocting an evil plan. _Now we got him right where we want him._

"Laters, baby." His voice is filled with promise. We both hang up and Sawyer reaches out to help me and my big belly into the SUV. Now that makes a woman feel sexy.

"Ana, the nursery is beautiful." Kate gushes while standing in the center of the room. The room is covered in cream, butter yellow and blue hues and decorated in the style of _The Little Prince_, which of course Theodore Raymond Grey will be. We haven't shared his name with anyone yet. Christian and I finally decided on it just a few weeks ago. It's in honor of Christian's grandfather and Grace's father, Theo, and my stepfather, Ray. We plan on calling him Teddy. I reflexively caress my bump while thinking of him. Mia is actually the one that came up with the nursery theme after we told everyone it was a boy. She already speaks French to him through my stomach. He's not even born yet and so loved by so many people.

"The decorator just finished with it on Wednesday. Christian and I love it." I reply. My favorite part is the mural opposite the crib. It's like the cover of _The Little Prince _book, with the Prince on his asteroid, but with a few added personal touches. In the starry sky scene there is a small Charlie Tango and a glider. Suddenly Mia pops hear head around the door, "The tasting table is ready, ladies!"

Mia has prepared various amuse-bouche dishes for me to choose from for the baby shower next weekend. Ever since the events last September, she has been very attentive to me and now Blip. I feel like this is her way of making up for what happened, even though it wasn't her fault and I never expected or wanted her to. Like with Christian, sometimes it's just easier to let her do what she wants and it is so incredibly sweet of her. Also, I secretly love that she is the only other person, besides me sometimes, that can be bossy to Christian. I couldn't suppress my smile when she announced to Christian what she was planning for the baby shower and that he wasn't invited. I think he took it well, considering he wasn't singled out, rather it was all men who were not invited.

The aromas wafting from the kitchen are wonderful. It wasn't so long ago I couldn't tolerate so many smells. Mia has truly out done herself with the colorful spread laid out before us. There is an array of little white porcelain spoons, ramekins, square bowls and saucers along with clear shot glasses and parfait dishes with miniature silver spoons inside. Mia carefully explains each dish before the three of us taste them. All of it is amazing. The vegetarian spring rolls are divine. The roasted chicken and avocado with lime mini sliders are scrumptious, but my absolute favorite dish is the triple chocolate mousse. My appetite has never been so gluttonous and with all this good food to eat, I love being pregnant.

After stuffing our faces, Mia, Kate and I go out onto the deck to enjoy a strawberry daiquiri, mine a virgin daiquiri of course. The sun is setting but still warm and the view, well, the view is always beautiful.

"How are you feeling?" Kate questions then takes a sip from the long straw in her drink.

"I feel great." I shift slightly. "It's becoming more uncomfortable to sleep at night and I do get tired easier, but other than that – "

"Are you nervous? You know, for labor and all that stuff?" Mia interrupts and the expression on her face sympathetic.

"A little, just because I don't know whats going to happen. I mean, I know there will be pain, but I don't know what I am in for exactly." Not such a different feeling from when you first verbally agreed to be Christian's submissive my subconscious butts in unexpectedly_._ _Oh!_

"I am also excited of course, to finally get to meet the baby." I reply as any expectant mother that has been asked the same question fifty times already…_Fifty._

"How do you think Christian will handle it? You know, with the labor, the delivery and all that unpredictability?" Kate tartly muses with an artfully arched eyebrow. Even after all this time, she and Christian still have issues. Perhaps it's because they are both controlling and demanding, but I can't help but think she still doesn't completely trust him. I thought after she and Elliot got married in January – she moved it up from May just because of my pregnancy – things would get better. I should really ask her and Christian about that.

"I am not worried about Christian." I lie to try to get off this subject. And in a way it is true. He has been nothing but attentive during my pregnancy, other than those first few days after the shock of finding out I was pregnant. He has been involved with taking care of me when I didn't feel well, preparing the nursery, buying the furniture and making sure everything had the highest safety rating. He attended La Maze classes with me and his most recent task was working with Taylor to create a back-up plan in the event I went into labor when he wasn't close enough to get me to the hospital himself. Quite frankly, I am in no mood to defend Christian because he doesn't need it. He has been great.

"I am only teasing. I know he will be a wonderful father." Kate registers the annoyance on my face and reaches over to lovingly rub my tummy. I smile in return.

"Maybe I am just getting tired." This is true. Maybe my annoyance is the fact that I now remember the discussion that needs to take place tonight with him. Kate just brought me back to reality.

"Well, Ethan and I have officially started a family baby pool!" Mia excitedly shares. The three of us giggle.

"Really? Who has which dates?" I ask through my laughter.

"Well, I still need Kate's pick." Mia replies.

"Oh…okay." Kate ponders. "The due date is May 16 and I say you go overdue –"

"Hey! Don't wish me to be late!" I tease.

"Sorry, but I pick May 22." She shrugs apologetically.

"Okay, that'll be $20!" Mia grabs an envelope from her purse with "Grey Baby Pool" written on it. Kate pulls out a $20 dollar bill from her purse and hands it across the table. I take a refreshing sip from my virgin daiquiri and shake my head in disbelief that my best friend and now sister-in-law is betting on my prolonged discomfort.

"So, that just leaves you and Christian." Mia looks at me expectantly.

"Leaves me for what?" Christian interrupts as he strides out onto the deck. He holds up his hands as if surrendering to a captor.

"I know this is a _girl's_ only event, but I heard all the giggling and had to come and see what was going on…and to kiss my wife and son." He bends down to kiss my forehead then bends down a little further to kiss the top of my stomach.

"Hi baby and baby." He smiles his full blown, heart-stopping, breathtaking smile. _Oh my._ Then he looks over at the drink in front of me and looks back to me. I shake my head to answer his unasked question. Mia stands up out of her chair to give Christian a hug and then she shows him the envelope.

"Grey Baby Pool, eh?" He reads the title on the envelope then smirks and turns the envelope over to see Mia's scribbling of the already guessed dates. He looks down at Kate then over to me.

"Based on what the doctor said today, I would have to say Kate has the best chances right now."

"What!" I say incredulously and lean forward in my chair. Mia giggles and Kate nods her head knowingly.

"Sorry, baby, but you aren't dilated yet and the baby hasn't dropped." He reaches down to rub Teddy affectionately. Then he takes out his wallet, fishes out a $20 bill and hands it to Mia.

"Give me $20 on May 21." _Oh, not him too!_ Mia and Kate laugh. Christian looks down at me and winks. I pout.

"Well ladies, please pardon the intrusion. I shall take my leave now. I have a fine dinner waiting for me at The Taylors." He bends down to kiss me again and leaves. I glare up at Mia then over to Kate, but I can't stay mad. We all start laughing with our daiquiris in our hands.

I only had to bring one box home from the office. To her credit, Hannah put as much as she could into digital format for me. I will miss going into the office every day, but Christian was more than insistent that once I got close to having Blip that I would start working from home so he knew where I was and then a plan would be in place so when it was time for Blip to come, everyone knows what is supposed to happen. He is my very own personal megalomaniac control freak. I finish putting the items from the box onto my desk and into my desk drawers. I have procrastinated as much as I can. I can't put this off anymore. First, I am going to take a shower to help me collect my thoughts and then it's time to face the music.

I take my time in the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me. I cannot believe how much my body has changed and not just my stomach, although that is the biggest change. My breasts are so much fuller, my belly button pokes out, my skin is so sensitive, my ankles are a little swollen, my hair and nails grow so much faster and my bladder needs constant emptying. The sex has been the best surprise in all of this. If Christian ever had a doubt that we should have another baby, I know he would reconsider it just so we can enjoy knocked up sex again. Then I am reminded of our earlier conversation and his sensual promise. _Oh!_ Don't forget about the envelope, my subconscious hastily reminds me. My inner goddess quickly flips her off for interrupting my dirty reverie.

I pull my hair back to a ponytail and wrap it over my shoulder. I am dressed in my midnight blue satin nightgown with matching robe. I steel myself in the mirror and give myself a pep talk. I need to keep this businesslike. Appeal to Christian's pragmatic side. Stand my ground on my beliefs and let him know why I want this. I take the Swedish Health Services envelope from the dresser and make my way down to Christian's office. The carpet is lush on my bare swollen feet and I feel the panic rising in me. _Let's do this, Ana._

I turn the corner to enter his office and Christian is typing away at his computer. Even after almost a year together, the sight of him still makes me catch my breath. His copper hair disheveled from an exasperating day, no doubt. The top two buttons are undone on his white linen shirt with a smattering of his chest hair peeking out. My favorite silver-gray tie is lying on his desk with the bottom edge of the tie just barely hanging over the edge. He looks up for a brief second and watches me enter, and then his eyes return to his screen. I stop just a few feet inside the door. He quickly finishes typing, shuts the cover of his Mac and looks up at me with shimmering gray eyes and a crooked smile. I start moving towards him again and he turns in his chair and lifts his arms out in front of him in anticipation but instead I move to sit in the chair facing his desk. I have a little trouble letting myself down into the chair but manage. He blinks in confusion and turns slowly in his chair to face me. He looks at me warily then he spots the envelope resting in my lap. _Here we go…_

"During my appointment with Dr. Greene today she advised that you and I have a serious discussion regarding these papers. Please understand there is nothing wrong with me or Teddy. This is just to be prepared. Okay?" Without taking my eyes from his, I take the envelope from my lap and place it on the end of his desk. Then with my fingertips I slide the envelope towards him as far as my belly will let me. His eyes darken as he narrows them infinitesimally at me then he looks down to the envelope. His long arm reaches over the desk and he easily grabs it with his long fingers. He opens the flap and slides the papers from the envelope onto the desk. He gently unfolds the paper and presses down on the creases so the papers stay open. He quickly scans the first page titled "Your Life, Your Decisions: Advance Directives." His eyes fly up to mine and my heart is about to fly through my chest. I can tell he is fighting to keep his anger at bay. I know he is only trying so hard because of my condition. Wordlessly, he goes back to the stack of papers and flips to the next page, then the next page and so on. He scans some of the pages and carefully stops to read others. I can tell when he finally reaches the page titled: "Health-Care Directive (Living Will)." He looks up at me and suddenly it feels like all the air has left the room.

"Anastasia, I don't understand why you need this." His says finally, almost dismissively, but his eyes are flint. He is still fighting for control.

"As your husband, I will always ensure that you receive the care you need. I won't let anything happen to you. After everything this past year, how could you doubt I would protect you? You don't trust me?" Christian is hurt. _No. No. No!_ This isn't how I imagined he would take this.

"Christian, I know you will protect me and Teddy. I have never doubted that and I do trust you. What this document is for is to make sure my wishes are paramount, if something _should_ happen to me." I stop to take a breath. I don't want to fumble through this. He needs to understand my side. I can't back down now. I inch closer in my chair and unveil my penetrating gaze.

"Please listen to me. Dr. Greene brought this whole thing up because of the very limited, remote possibility that a decision will need to be made and I may not be _available_ to make that decision. In order to alleviate the pressure of having to make a difficult split second decision during an emotional time, she suggested I complete this form and discuss my decisions with you. That way the decisions are already made and everyone will know and understand what is supposed to happen. That's all this is." I try to make it sound as normal as possible when in fact I know it's anything but normal. Christian doesn't look convinced. He inches closer on his side of the desk and puts my penetrating gaze to shame. _Crap!_

"Ana, I have made my living at making difficult split second decisions and we both know you do not always make the best choices when it comes to your personal safety. Either there is something you aren't telling me or so help me." His voice is deceptively soft and he is losing his grip.

"I promise you there is nothing wrong with me or Teddy. We are both fine." I keep my voice steady.

"Then why with this?" He roars suddenly and absently throws the papers around his desk.

"Christian, you can be irrational when it comes to me. You know this, although it doesn't seem to matter to you how I feel about it. If something were to happen to me I want to be the one to make the decision about the medical treatment I receive." My voice is still steady but is definitely louder.

"What kind of medical treatment?" Christian demands. I just need to get this out before he brings the house down. I also need to make sure he is never around any gamma rays. _Jesus!_

"If I am in a condition without the possibility or hope of recovery then I do not want to be kept alive by artificial means." I get it out and with it all of Christian's anger dissipates.

"What?" He gasps.

"If the doctors say that there is no chance for me to recover from whatever condition I may be in then I do not want to be kept alive with machines, or feeding tubes or anything else. And – "

"And?" Christian interrupts with disbelief. He is shaking his head and I really think he is too shocked to articulate a reply.

"I want to donate my organs." I finish. He just keeps staring at me.

"And, if God forbid something was to happen and a choice has to be made between my life and the life of our son, I choose our son." The silence hangs between us. His eyes are saucers and I see him shake his head fractionally. I look down at my swollen belly then gently caress it. It's painful to imagine anything happening, let alone actually verbalizing something so terrible. I look up again and Christian is no longer looking at me. He is turned to the side in his chair with his elbows resting on his thighs and his hands in his hair. This is double exasperation. After a few moments there is still nothing. _Oh God!_ It's like the time he thought I was going to leave and he went submissive on me and I thought I broke him. I want to get up and go to him, but I am afraid to kick the hornet's nest. Suddenly Christian stands and looks down at me. His eyes are glimmering with unshed tears and still wide with fear. He opens his mouth to say something then closes it. He briefly turns away from me and runs both hands through his copper hair again. Finally he turns back towards me and is next to me in an instant. He puts both hands on the arms of my chair and adjusts me slightly so I am angled to his desk. Then he gets down on one knee and takes my hands in his; his burn burn into mine.

"Ana, I am sorry, but I cannot – _cannot_ – promise this to you." Christian's voice is raspy with desperation.

"This is what I am trying to tell you, Christian. This is what I want." I feebly reply. I don't want to hurt him.

"I could not let you go. I don't care what any doctor says. Medical technology is always improving and whatever condition you have, I will dedicate every moment of my life and every resource at my disposal to make you better and to bring you back to me."

"I don't want to be a vegetable in a bed, in some hospital room. That is not a life."

"I would bring you home. I would build the most beautiful room for you facing The Sound. I would play the most beautiful music for you. I would read your favorite books to you. I would bath you in the most luxurious soaps and dress you in the richest fabrics. You would never be a vegetable. I would make sure you had the best care."

"It wouldn't be me. It would just be my body."

"But, I could still touch you…see you." He takes his hands off mine and takes my face in his hands. He looks at me as if this is the last memory he can make of my face.

"But I couldn't touch you or see you." I softly counter and my eyes are swimming with tears. He drops his hands from my face and my lost boy is back. His eyes are opaque and his face ashen. This imaginary pain he feels from my hypothesized death or near death has seized him. Is this all unresolved grief from actually seeing his dead birth mother? Is this grief from not being able to keep her from dying? _My Fifty. My sweet, dear, beloved Fifty._ I take my hands and pull his head onto my belly. His arms wrap around my waist. I softly caress his hair and his face and let him weep while I let the tears roll down my face. We sit like this for five, perhaps ten minutes. Eventually Christian looks up at me.

"You know, if you were comatose, you wouldn't know what I was doing with you." Christian finally says smugly. I can't help but smile. This is the whole reason for the advance directive.

"This is my way of stopping you from doing that." I gently caress his face again. It's moist from his tears and the rims of his gray eyes are pink.

"I hope and pray we never have to deal with these decisions but death is inevitable for us; even megalomaniac, control freaks and their wives. I could've just done this, without talking to you first, but I wanted you to know and understand why I want this. Please, Christian. Please." I implore him. Then I lean down and kiss the tip of his nose. He turns his face up to kiss my lips.

"Your lips are so soft when you cry." He whispers.

"Yours too." I smile. Christian gracefully rises to his feet. His vulnerability seemingly gone for now and his resolve is back. He pulls me up out of the chair gently by my arm. We are standing as close as we can to each other with Blip in between us. With one hand he lifts my chin so he can look down at me and puts the other hand on my hip.

"I concede to the first two points, but not the third. I agree not to keep you alive by artificial means and I agree to having your organs donated but Ana…" He stops and looks down at Blip.

"I love you and Teddy. I don't want to even think about losing either of you, ever. I already thought I did lose you once and having to choose, well it would be the hardest thing I ever had to do but Ana..." He stops again. He must not be able to bring himself to say it. Then with the most sincere look on his face and in his eyes he locks his eyes on mine and there is no sign of surrender.

"We can make another baby. We can make many more babies. I can never make another Anastasia." He says with finality and with that I know there is nothing else I can say. He has made the most rational argument that I cannot counter. I let it slowly wash over me. Nothing is wrong now. Dr. Greene has assured me that Blip and I are both healthy and there is a slim chance of anything going wrong. I have to remember this. I finally nod at him in understanding.

"We are done talking about this." Christian says matter of factly. He cups my face in his hands and kisses me swiftly then he drops his hands back to his side. I have a thought to mention completing the forms but I think better of it. I trust that he will comply with my wishes, well our wishes. Then I have another thought of telling him to talk to Dr. Flynn about this. I'll wait until tomorrow.

He turns back to his desk and reaches for something. _The forms?_ He reaches over the scattered papers and grabs _that_ tie. _Oh my._ He turns back to me with a devious smile on his face and wraps one end of the tie around his left wrist and the other end around his right wrist and pulls the tie taut between his hands. My inner goddess swoons like Scarlett O'Hara in a tight petticoat.

"Mrs. Grey, I do believe you have seen enough for now."


	2. Chapter 2

Hearing his words and watching his long skilled fingers deftly slide over the patterned tie make my insides clench responsively.

"Turn," Christian commands. Still in a daze I comply and immediately I feel him move right behind me. He reaches over my head to cover my eyes with the tie. I feel the slight tug as Christian finishes tying it to keep it secure around my head.

His fingers trail down the back of my scalp, my neck, over my collar, down my back and then both of his hands creep over the front of my belly to the tie of my robe. I feel the release of the belt's tension from around my waist then I feel the robe gliding over my skin as Christian removes it. He lightly caresses my shoulders then I feel the thin straps of my nightgown falling away under his palms. The straps fall to my upper arm. I feel him trace a finger down each shoulder to underneath the straps and then he continues pulling them down my arms. I feel him bend down behind me as the nightgown floats away from my body. I am now standing completely naked in Christian's office and completely at his mercy.

"I approve, Mrs. Grey," Christian says. I think it's due to my lack of panties. I feel his hand wrap around my left ankle and he pulls up slightly so I lift my foot in response then he does the same with the right. He stands upright again and I feel him slightly brush against me. I hear the rustling of fabric and then he puts his outstretched hand around my neck and pulls me into him. I feel his erection against my lower back.

"Feel what you do to me, Ana," Christian whispers into my ear as he softly kisses and licks my lobe. He removes his hand from around my neck and I feel him walk around to the front of me. He takes my right hand in his.

"Come," Christian urges. He leads me away from the desk. I imagine the layout of the room in my head and judging by the direction he is leading me, we must not be leaving. He must be taking me to the one arm cream velvet chaise lounge situated under the picture windows. _I wonder if anyone can see us in here. _Christian stops and with my hand still in his I feel him move to the side of me. He kisses my hand.

"Turn with me," he says and I feel him walking back behind me and I turn my body with him, as if we are dancing. Then he stops and I feel him reach for my left hand and he kisses my palm. Then he moves his hands so he has just the tips of my fingers in his grip and he slowly walks me backwards a few steps. I feel the cloth of the chaise against the back of my legs.

"Sit," he purrs and I feel his proximity to my mouth. I want to reach out to kiss him but he is now lowering me with his hands. My bare bottom touches the soft seat of the chaise. I will never regard this chair the same way again.

"Let's lay you back against the arm, Anastasia." Christian releases my right hand and with my left hand helps me turn then he releases my hand and I feel his arm sweep under my legs to pull them up on the chaise as I lean back against the arm. I am quite comfortable like this. The bow of the arm relieves the pressure on my back. Then I feel both his hands grasp the sides of my head. He pulls my head down tenderly to the cushioned top of the arm and he kisses my forehead swiftly. Next I feel his hands on top of my feet.

"Slide your legs up, baby," Christian quietly orders and I skim the bottom of my feet along the chaise until my knees are slightly bent. Now that I realize his game, I am quite glad we got the wider version of this chair and not the standard size. I hear him close to me. He must be getting undressed now. I hear the zipper and know he must be almost done. As I lay back on the chaise, relaxed, with his tie over my eyes and my arms wrapped around my belly, I feel that all too familiar awakening in my groin. It's the anticipation of his touch and my body remembering it and craving it. I know I am ready for him.

It's quiet for a few moments and I know he must be relishing the view, as he often does. Sometimes I think he is wondering what he wants to do and sometimes I think he just likes to make me wait. Then I feel the pressure of him on top of the chair. He runs his hands down my knees, to the outside of my legs, down to my thighs and subtly pulls them open to gain access to the most vulnerable part of me. Then I feel him between my legs, softly kissing and nibbling his way down, closer and closer until I feel his warm breath against my dampness. _Oh my._

He crawls in a little closer and he begins kissing the bottom of my belly, just above my sex. I move my hands from my protruding abdomen to his head and then move my fingers through his hair. He makes his way up and around my tummy with his lips and hands and he moves in even closer to trail kisses down my outstretched neck and then my swollen breasts. He quickly bites and sweetly kisses each nipple. Then he trails his hands down my belly to under each thigh and he slowly lifts each leg to rest on his shoulders as he sinks lower onto the chaise. I feel the first then the second finger begin to slowly circle inside me.

"Oh, Ana," he growls lowly, "you never fail me," as he continues to massage that sweet spot inside me. Then his fingers are gone and his expert tongue takes their place. His wet tongue against my wet sex is heaven. My body begins to build in response to his contact. My hands fall lazily from his hair, my mouth is slack and the sensation he is creating within me travels down my legs to the very tips of my toes. With each stroke I writhe and his fingers dig into my hips. As the impending orgasm looms closer I grab the slanted back of the chaise with my right hand to help brace myself. I know he doesn't want me to move but this has never felt so…so…_oh my God…what is that? Am I drooling? No. Is he drooling? No, he's still between my legs. Is the ceiling leaking on me? No. That wetness is coming from me…my breasts. Is that my breast milk? WHAT THE FUCK!_

"Stop!" I can't help but yell in panic and simultaneously kill my orgasm. I frantically reach up to rip the tie from around my head. I pull myself up and blink as my eyes try to readjust to the light. I search wildly over my body and sure as fucking hell there is fluid seeping from my nipples and there is a small trail of it down my breasts to my stomach. I am beyond mortified. This CANNOT be happening. My mouth is open in shock but I cannot articulate a single word. My entire body is burning with humiliation and I want to run from the room but I am stuck with Christian between my legs. Finally, I will myself to look at him. I am afraid to see his reaction. He probably won't want to touch me again until I have dried up like an abandoned desert oasis.

He is sitting up now and his gray eyes are fixated but he isn't looking at my face, he is looking at my breasts. _Could this get any worse?_ With the hand holding the tie, I reach down toward my breast but before I reach it Christian gently grabs my wrist. I look at him quizzically. He doesn't look disgusted. He looks fascinated.

"What are you doing?" He asks soothingly while taking the tie from my hand. _Oh, he doesn't want his tie to get ruined._ "I was going to clean _this _up," as I gesture to my breast and belly area, "I don't know how this happened," I barely choke out as I look down at my leaky body. Christian swiftly moves my legs to his side as he sits up and pulls me into his arms. He lifts my chin up so I am forced to look into his eyes.

"Anastasia, there is nothing wrong with this," he offers reassuringly. "I read that this happens sometimes when a woman reaches orgasm while shes pregnant or nursing. It's completely natural." He leans in closer and runs his nose along mine. "Please don't be embarrassed. I am in awe of you, baby."

He is watching me intently. I am still embarrassed, less so because of his reaction, but still slightly because he knew this _could_ happen and I didn't. His eyes are filled with such raw sincerity that I fling my arms around his neck to bring him to my mouth. He lowers me onto the arm of the chaise once more, our kiss intensifying. Suddenly he pulls up. _No!_

"Will you let me try something?" His eyes are glinting with wonderment.

"What?" I cock my head to the side wondering what on earth he could be thinking.

He releases my hands from around his neck and leans down to my breasts. They don't feel like they are still leaking, but they still feel wet. He takes his index finger and wipes a trail of the milk from my skin then slips the same finger into his mouth. He looks up at me and I can tell from the look on his face that he likes it. _What the hell? _My subconscious begins furiously typing a cease and desist letter.

"Ana," Christian grins, "I have always told you how exquisite you taste and this is certainly no exception." Suddenly he leans down again and begins licking and kissing my left breast to finish the job he started then moves to my right breast.

I am shocked into place. Sometimes Christian can still really surprise the hell out of me. This is so confusing. It feels good, but then again it's weird. It's like getting spanked for the first time. Should I be turned on by this? _Am I?_ No, it's more than arousal; I am actually flattered that he is turned on by this. I can't help but wonder about the charm he would get for my bracelet to commemorate _this_ first. My inner goddess beams approvingly as she wipes the milk mustache from her mouth with the back of her hand.

He takes his time licking, kissing and suckling then he moves down and begins kissing the top of my stomach. Between each kiss I realize he is whispering something, "Your. Mother. Is. So. Beautiful. You. Are. The. Luckiest. Little. Boy. In. The. World." Christian stops and looks up at me with a huge grin on his face. I smile in response.

"I really enjoyed that," he says slyly and smiles his crooked smile, "let's see if we can make it happen again." Before I can protest he makes his way between my legs again. _Yes, let's see if we can._

I am sitting on the edge of our bed with an open jar of cocoa butter next to me and the tank top I changed into pulled up to expose by burgeoning belly. I dip my fingertips in the jar and begin to rub the lotion into my hands before moving my hands over my stomach. Christian, having just finished with a shower, walks into the bedroom from our adjoining bathroom with a towel around his waist and another around his neck. He walks over to me. "Please let me," he offers.

He sits down on the bed next to me and vigorously reaches into the jar to retrieve some of the lotion. He pulls out far too much of the butter from the jar in his coiled fingers. I giggle and he feigns being affronted as he quickly dabs some of the excess butter on my nose. I reflexively turn my head and he gets some on my cheek as well. We both laugh. He puts some of the extra butter back into the jar and with whats left in his hand; he begins rubbing it onto my expanded midsection. I watch him with a small smile on his face as he concentrates on what he's doing. He easily reaches around to my sides to cover them in the butter as well. He looks young, happy and untroubled and I am happy for it. It's in these quiet moments that I become fully aware of how much he loves me and how good of a father he will be. When he's finished with my bump rubdown he pulls my top down then grabs the towel from around his neck and wipes away the butter still on my nose and kisses it then repeats the process with my cheek.

"You are now ready for bed," he proclaims and he stands and walks to his dresser. I put the cap back on the jar and put the jar on my nightstand. I pull my legs up onto the bed and duck them under the top sheet. I look up just in time to catch the view of him putting on his boxer briefs. I will never get tired of that view. He walks to his side of the bed and starts to get in with me.

"Do we have any plans for Sunday?" I ask while turning to face him.

"I don't think so." He settles into his spot, facing me and pulls the covers up over both of us.

"I would like to invite just Kate and Elliot over for brunch."

"Really?" Christian cocks an eyebrow to his hairline and he already sounds suspicious. We never really hang out with just his siblings. It's usually a family thing, or a guy thing, him and Elliot – possibly Ethan, or a girl thing, like earlier today. This is highly irregular – doing a couple thing – unless you count Taylor and Mrs. Taylor, but they are staff and live here.

"Christian, after a year together I find it a little disheartening that you and Kate still don't seem to like each other very much. She is my best friend and I know I cannot make you like each other, but I really think if you spent a little more time together you could grow to like each other – a little," I say hopefully. Christian's eyes tense a little while he is listening to me.

"If you want to invite Kate and Elliot over for a meal then I am amenable, however I do wish you would stop trying to play little Miss Fix-it," Christian responds glumly. "I respect Kate, as your friend and as my sister-in-law, but you know my difficulty with cultivating meaningful relationships with anyone. With my parents and siblings it was necessary. With you, while not particularly easy, I was drawn to you in a way I was never drawn to anyone before. With Kate…" he sighs and gesticulates as if looking to pull the answer from out of thin air.

"So, are you saying you don't want to be friends with her?" I ask incredulously as my eyes narrow.

"Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"Ana, she is the only person that knows anything about my previous lifestyle that never signed an NDA. I trust you implicitly because I love you and you are my wife. I can't control what Kate does. I have no real recourse if..." He says this as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. My eyes are boring into his.

"If what? She promised me she wouldn't tell anyone anything that I shared with her. She would never do anything to hurt me and she knows sharing that information would hurt you thereby hurting me. How many times do I have to explain this?"

"But she can still do what she wants – "

"I can still do what I want! That didn't change just because I became your wife."

"Clearly." Christian flops back on his pillow resigned. This is getting us nowhere. I scoot over to him and put my arm over his chest and lay my head on his shoulder.

"I know you don't see Kate in the same light as I do," I beseech him, "but she has unwittingly proven herself to you many times over. Like when she found that email in your coat pocket? And when we asked her and Elliot to be the god parents for Blip and she started crying. She recognized the horror on your face when she suddenly hugged you after remembering what I told her about the touching thing. She immediately released you in order to respect your boundaries. And when she changed all her wedding plans to get married in January in Hawaii instead of here in May because of the baby?" I look up at him and he seems to be recalling each event and by the look on his face, some more pleasantly than others.

"I did enjoy Hawaii," he finally responds.

"Hey!" I playfully swat at his shoulder, "I am trying to be serious here!"

"I am too," he adopts a pseudo-serious look, "Hawaii was sublime." Christian winks at me as a sinful grin crosses his lips. I succumb to his playful mood.

"Yes," I sigh dreamily. We spent an evening thinking of all the places we made love and were endlessly adding new places to that list. "I do believe that's when we officially started the 50 Shades in 50 States Sex Tour," I giggle and he wraps both arms around me and pulls me closer to him.

"Try saying that ten times fast," he laughs and any residual disdain from our earlier conversation falls away from his face.

"That. That. Th – " he interrupts me with his lips closing in around mine. Our mouths are doing a tongue twister of their own. He pulls backs, staring needful into my eyes and smoothes my stray hairs back from around my face. "I love that smart mouth," he quips.

"You know there _is _something that I would like to do ten times fast," I offer suggestively. He is much too clever at distracting me.

"Are you using sexual innuendo with me, Mrs. Grey?"

"You better believe it, Mr. Grey, not to mention that I love it when you are in my endo." Christian abruptly reaches around to my leg and hitches it around his waist so I am now straddling him. Then he places both of his hands palm side down on each side of my tummy.

"Mrs. Grey, our son really shouldn't be privy to such filthy language," he mockingly admonishes me then he moves his hands down to my backside and sits up so we are now nose to nose with gray gazing into blue. "I would rather have you whisper those naughty words directly into my ear." He reaches to the hem of my tank and peels it from me. Then he brushes his lips against the tip of my nose, across my lips, down to my chin and across my jaw line until his face has turned from mine and his ear is a mere millimeter from my lips.

I feel his chest rising and falling against mine and my insides are knotting with sexual desire. I slowly circle his ear with my tongue and hear that low primal groan deep in his throat. I kiss around the edge of his ear and then pull his lobe into my mouth and suck then bite it softly. I feel his grip tighten around my backside and before I lose my opportunity I whisper, "Yes, _sir_."

Christian moans unintelligibly and brings his mouth back to mine. We are a tangle of naked skin, hands and tongues and my blood is ablaze in my veins. Christian's hands come to my face and he breaks our precious contact. "I want your ass now."

He lifts me off of him and bounds out of bed. I scramble to my knees, sit back on my feet and watch him intently. He gracefully crosses the room and opens a drawer, pulls out a bottle of massage lubricant and closes the drawer. He returns to the side of the bed and puts the bottle on his nightstand. I find myself impatient to feel him in me _there_, again. I lock eyes with him and seductively crawl closer to him. I bring my face right next to his bulging erection and kiss him through his briefs. He takes my head and hair in his hands and leans his head back. I reach up and pull his briefs down low enough so I can take him in my mouth.

I love giving Christian head right after he's out of the shower. I can taste him, his body wash and how clean he is; there is nothing better. I slowly rock back and forth on my knees taking him in and out of my mouth while letting my tongue glide all along the length of him. His hands are gone from my hair now and I peer over to see him pouring some of the lube into his hands. I continue my oral assault as he reaches down over me and begins to massage my shoulders and my back. He reaches up to the base of my ponytail and pulls slightly back on my head. I bring my eyes up to meet his without removing him from my mouth. He shakes his head from side to side and I release him with a smile. Then I reach over to the bottle on the nightstand, squeeze some of the lube into my hand and get him nice and glossy. He is staring down at me with hooded eyes. "Turn around, baby," he whispers.

Still on my knees, I turn away from him so my toes just barely hang off the end of the bed. I am on all fours and coyly lift my backside up to him. He grabs me at my hips and he pulls my butt into his groin. He leisurely circles each cheek with his oiled hands and spanks me once for good measure. It sends shivers of absolute delight through me. I hear more lubricant being squeezed into Christian's hands and with one hand he reaches between my legs to massage my clitoris and with the other hand he is using his fingers to rub in and around my anus to get it good and slick.

"Ana, I want you to sit on me, facing away," Christian directs. I move over to give him room to get onto the bed. He sits down with his legs straight out in front of him. I back my way over him, carefully straddling his long legs and as I get closer he grabs my hips to lead me onto him.

"Slowly, Ana," he warns and tightens his grip on my hips, "just ease into this." I feel his tip at the base of my opening. Christian releases one hand and moves it down to my backside again. He is slowly massaging around me again and then I feel his hand as he leads himself into me, just enough, and we both moan. "That's right, baby," He prompts.

With my hands resting on his legs, I rise up and lower myself again, this time allowing him in just a little deeper while he still guides me. I continue this a few more times, allowing myself to get accustomed to him breadth. I have not been able to take this at his punishing pace yet, but he always has me take this at my tempo. I know he is just happy I am so willing to do this. He moves both his hands to my sides and I feel him lean back so he is angled slightly inside me. _Oh my._ I lean back into him and he begins kissing my neck then my shoulders and then my back. I continue the steady rise and fall onto his lap when he suddenly reaches around the entire width of my stomach. _What? _"Let's move you to your side," he answers my unspoken question.

With him holding me, he eases himself out of me and tenderly lowers me onto my side with my belly in front of me. I move to sit up on my elbows. He rests one arm above my head and with the other hand maneuvers my legs so they are slightly apart. Then he lifts his leg slightly to rest on my backside as he gradually reenters. He resumes his feather light kisses on my neck and shoulders and trails his hand down my back, around my exposed breast and over my cheek. His pace is deliberate and his fingers are circling around and inside my sex. This is a different sensation. It's so much more intense with his kissing, he penetration and his fingers. I start moving with him as I become more comfortable with all the feelings at once.

"Steady, baby," Christian moans into my ear and everything inside me is at the brink; his breath is in my ear and his fingers and cock are tantalizing every nerve ending between my legs. My urge to explode around him is gaining and I feel my body tensing as I build. The worry I have carried with me all day just doesn't matter anymore. My mind is blank except for the pleasure. It just wants to keep accepting the pleasure and push everything else out…directives, labor pain, husbands not getting along with friends…and I am losing control. I cry out as my climax shreds and ripples through me. Christian moves his hand up from between my legs and curls into me closer as he finds his own finish inside me while burying his face in my hair. We lay like this for a few minutes. Christian sweetly stroking my back with his finger tips.

"I need another shower," he breaks the silence. I can't help but giggle.

"I think I do to," I respond sleepily but not willing to move. I feel him back off of me and roll off my side the bed.

"Well, let's make it a bath then, Mrs. Grey."

"Hmmm?" I barely respond with my eyes closed. I feel him standing over me now.

"I will carry you," Christian sounds amused. I open my eyes and grudgingly move my legs over to the edge of the bed and Christian helps me sit up. Then he bends down and pulls me into his chest as he lifts me; even with 33 extra pounds he picks me up with ease. I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me across the room to our bathroom.

He plants a kiss on top of my head and then sits me down on the edge of the tub. He turns on the faucet then pours in some bubble bath. I watch with fascination as the purple liquid foams up under the running water. He reaches his hand out to me, I take it and he helps lower me in to the tub. I ease into the water. He slips in behind me and pulls me to his back.

"I love you," he says matter of factly.

"I know," I say smugly as I nestle my head into his chest.

"I never thought at 37 weeks pregnant we would still be doing this," he says.

"Doing what? Taking a bath?" I sound more facetious than I mean to be.

"Oh, I think you know," Christian says as he reaches up with his foot to turn the knob on the faucet and shut off the water.

"Is that part of what you were worried about…when I first told you I was pregnant?" I try to sound nonchalant.

"Partly, not this exactly, but that you wouldn't want to have sex at all or that worse yet, you wouldn't want me to touch you," he says quietly.

"I will always want you to touch me."

"Good," he reaches for the body wash and begins lathering it up in his hands, "because I have made you a very dirty girl." I look up at him and see a smirk on his face. He bends his head down and kisses the tip of my nose.

"And a very lucky girl," I amend reaching up to kiss him back. I am rewarded with his shy smile, my favorite smile.


End file.
